Here’s the deal. I know how bro talk goes. At least a little bit.
I’ve been cast as a boy several times in shows and this funny thing happens when I’m hanging out backstage dressed as a boy. People forget.
I sit around with guy friends and it’s like they forget I’m a woman and they start talking how they would if it was just bros. I’ve learned some things I’m not sure I want to know about how my beloved boys view and talk about women.
I also have what I will call “Secret Squirrel Syndrome”. I’m a trusted friend to many many guys. For some reason I’m often the girl that guys talk to about girls. I’m their “Secret Squirrel”, and enough of a bro that I am privy how guys think.
I know this is difficult for people to understand, but I have many (I think 8?) jobs. Obviously they don’t all happen at once, but sometimes 3 in a day. (Theatre people, can I get an “Amen”?) Now, after being immersed in predominantly female workplaces for most of my life, I’m spending significant amounts of time working a couple of predominantly “male” jobs. I’m a member of a crew that sets up and tears down stages, tents, etc for events around Calgary. I’m also 1 of 5 members of an all-female paint crew for the major overhaul/renovation of what will be a dynamic community space. There’s the electricians, the carpenters, the roofers, (all guys), and then there’s us. It’s a great company and I’m enjoying the work, but within the first ten minutes of my being on the jobsite, I overheard a couple of the guys confer about whether or not they’d have sex with me. I wasn’t supposed to comprehend what was being discussed, but like I said, I know how this works.
It sucks that before you even speak to me, wonder who I am or what I’m interested in, what I think about certain things, or how I express myself, you’ve taken one glance at my body and with a single word, phrase, or grunt expressed to someone else whether or not you want to have sex with me.
At the other job, one of the guys happily recalled a conversation in which the guys had rated actresses over 50 based on whether they’d still have sex with her. That sucks.
A girl’s safety concern about a questionable piece of equipment is treated as an endearing but irritating reflection of gender instead of as a sensible concern. The next day, she and I put ourselves in a stupid and unsafe position to avoid asking for help, lest we feed the notion that as women we’re nervous and weak.
Based on what you’re busy thinking about, what is of interest to you, the manner in which you express yourself, and ultimately what you value, there is not even a tiny part of me that is interested in having sex with you.
Just for the record.